I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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