the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
