I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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