is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
