Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
