I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I love you.
Bad choice
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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