yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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