brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
