Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
