Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
