i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
