He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
