Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
