A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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