She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
