Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
