You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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