i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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