I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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