WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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