ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
