My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
