Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's great music for shaving your balls
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
