Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
