he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
