One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
