Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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