I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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