Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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