maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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