We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
