im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
