I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
