I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
