he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
