I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm at about main and main street
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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