I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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