Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
