Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
