I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
