some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
