Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
