High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
