he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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