Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
