just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
