i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Are my feet made of real feet?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
