a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
