Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
