Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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