Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
