Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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