We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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